Recently, I read some words (literally, just six words) from Keith Thompson, veteran foster parent, that sounded very familiar. Here's what he said:
"Children are more important than furniture."
I know this is not some huge, earth shattering truth. It's something that should have been pretty obvious to me already. But I'm sinful, and I'm fallen. And I admit it... We worked hard for our stuff and I like to take care of my stuff. And I want my stuff treated with respect and care.
If there is one area where I struggled with my new life as a global houseparent to twentysomethings -- this is it. I try not to care about my stuff -- my furniture, my house, my car, my things ... but my wicked little heart wants to fight for all of it.
Sure, I can lie to myself and slap a pretty Christian title on this love-of-stuff. Sometimes I call it "good stewardship." You know -- we take care of our stuff because God gave us our stuff and He wants us to be good stewards of the things He entrusts to us. And there is some good, biblical truth to this idea of stewardship... but stewardship should never come at all costs. It definitely shouldn't come at the cost of another's heart or spirit. Because children (Birthed, Adopted, Grandchildren, African, African-American, Ethiopian) are more important than things. Period.
I should back up and explain that before we became Houseparents, people told us to beware of all this. They told us to batten down the hatches in our home. To prepare for every thing in our house to be broken, cracked, stolen or destroyed. We have always responded, we understand, IT ALL belongs to our GOD. I do believe this and try each day to walk through showing and sharing everything in our home, but sometimes it gets the best of me.
We know that God has called us to share life daily and build relationships with those who were not raised with the blessings that I was afforded. But I have to say.........They weren't just kidding.
Logically, it makes perfect sense -- I mean why would a child/person who has never purchased or owned any personal possessions know how to care for things? Why would a child/person who is accustomed to living in day-to-day survival mode for food and other necessities suddenly grasp this crazy western concept of stewardship?
Over the last two years---I'll give you a glimpse. Knobs have been literally ripped off the cabinets, A fist has cracked and destroyed the soap pump on the cast iron sink. A whack to the wall has sent a glass gift from Rome sailing into pieces. A daisy yellow -cutesy fabric rocker now adorns black food stained arms. Ants now march through our bedrooms and mice hide under our refrigerator. Our washing machine has not stopped running like the energizer bunny. Four tires have been flat spotted and one car's undercarriage destroyed. Grease circles now reside on my high back chairs where their sweet black heads rested while playing wii. This list could go on and on, but I'll spare you the details. Almost all of this destruction is purely innocent -- it happens out of curiosity and honest ignorance. But it happens. A lot.
Everytime one of my boys displays one of these acts of "sinful and careless stewardship," I am tempted to display one of my own acts of sinful and careless anger. I am often tempted to scream "WHY would you do such a thing? How could you possibly think this was ok??"
And the Lord speaks to my heart and reminds me that I know perfectly well why they would do these things... They are broken and hurt and they've never had stuff before so they don't know how to take care of it. And frankly, it's just stuff.
For so many reasons, I am thankful to live a life that daily lends itself to these struggles. Each day I must intentionally choose... what's really important to me?
"For where your treasure lies, there your heart will be also." -- Matt 6:21, NIV
