Many of you know our story. It was stressful to live, stressful to tell. But with great pain, there is an opportunity for great healing. And with healing there is testimony.
Through the process of nearly losing my marriage, I learned to fight for it.
With my 18 year marriage dangling by a thread, both of us broken, angry, afraid, not communicating, and many other adjectives that would require more processing, I remember declaring that I would not give up easily. I threw out all my preconceived ideas about marriage counseling, not having enough money in savings to afford “help” and I went to battle, not against my husband, but praying for him and for God to "change ME Lord".
The very fall of man, put husbands and wives at odds with each other. Marriage is not easy. At it’s best, it’s difficult. No bed of roses and the warm and fuzzy lasts a short period of time. But don’t be fooled: Satan wants your marriage to fail. He is a vicious opponent without mercy. If you won’t fight for your marriage, he will. I believe every marriage is worth fighting for and while some have Biblical reasons for divorce, I still believe God can rescue every marriage-
IF- there are two willing people and sadly, that’s often not the case.
But if you are married-whatever condition your marriage may be in today-you need to fight for it.
How to really fight: [there are so many ways you can do this, here's what has helped me]:
Ask hard questions-Is there intimacy in our marriage? Are there secrets? Are your expectations to high? Are you following God's design for marriage-and fulfilling your part of the design? Are you demanding? Does God come first and then your spouse or are your children given rank over your spouse?
Prepare yourself for unexpected answers-don’t rule out counseling. It’s not just for broken marriages, it can truly make your marriage better, especially Christian Counselors.
Trust -Believe in your spouse. Choose to trust. It is earned but Satan will temp you to read between the lines of truth.
Pray-simply said, hardly done. Pray for your marriage and your mate. If you need some direction - Stormie O'Martian's Power of a Praying Wife / Power of a Praying Husband it absolute Great!
Eliminate distractions-turn off cable if it’s unhealthy, throw out edgy movies, only accept purity in your marriage.
Don’t condemn-this only causes strife.
Submit your marriage and your life to God. We have found the closer we are to God, the closer we are to each other.
Forgive-some things seem unforgivable. But in the end, we must forgive. (This doesn’t mean we have to continue to live in abusive, dangerous or unfaithful marriages), but grudges have to go.
Let your husband lead your home, submit to him on the big stuff. If you doubt him, pray that God will speak to him.
If you have an unbelieving husband, practice I Cor. 7.
Our marriage is not perfect and it never will be, but it’s real and it’s good and it will last.